#Letr2Jil – DEATH BECOMES HER by Leke Alder

1. My dear Jil, I know you didn’t study law but there’s a principle in law I’d like you to note. #Letr2Jil

2. When there’s litigation, say over an asset, the court does all it can to preserve the subject matter of the litigation. #Letr2Jil

3. You see if the subject matter is alienated or destroyed there can’t be justice. It renders moot the whole purpose of litigation.#Letr2Jil

4. That principle applies to your marriage, and the subject matter that needs preservation is your life. #Letr2Jil

5. If you lose your life to this marriage, there’ll be nothing to deliberate on about the marriage. It’s effectively over. #Letr2Jil

6. The subject matter then changes to a story – of tragedy, and a funeral. We’ll be speaking in hushed tones at your funeral. #Letr2Jil

7. This is a most dangerous marriage you’re in. Your life has been subjected to gruesome threat such as no one can contemplate. #Letr2Jil

8. Concerning the issue of life in marriage, it’s better to err on the side of caution. Prevention of loss of life is uppermost. #Letr2Jil

9. When we don’t err on the side of caution in these circumstances and the gruesome happens, we all acquire a haunted conscience. #Letr2Jil

10. What is alarming is that your husband’s present continuous anti-connubialism constitutes an ongoing threat to your life. #Letr2Jil

11. Your husband is most reckless and profligate in his libidinous explorations. Where will it end? #Letr2Jil

12. Aggrieved third parties have now decided to pursue your life in retaliation for his activities. Where’s this thing going?! #Letr2Jil

13. Then there’s the question of your dignity. (Won’t bother to elaborate.) You’re now at the mercy of third parties. #Letr2Jil

14. If your husband remains unrepentant of his wrong-headed amorous pursuits, your life will continue to be in possible danger. #Letr2Jil

15. If you die from this marriage you die for nothing. Your life is wasted. That’s why it will be a tragedy. #Letr2Jil

16. You obviously can’t see the tree for the forest. You need to step back. #Letr2Jil

17. Without stepping back you can’t see the stupidity of your dogged determination to preserve this marriage at your life’s risk. #Letr2Jil

18. Can’t you see? If you lose your life there’ll be no marriage to preserve. It’s that simple and it’s that cold. #Letr2Jil

19. Of course you have to bear responsibility for some of the stuff. You must accept responsibility for your choice. #Letr2Jil

20. You knew he was like this but like many women determined to marry, you thought marriage would change him. #Letr2Jil

21. And you thought you could wing it, handle it. You thought all those women would step back once you step in. #Letr2Jil

22. The truth is, unless he wants those women to step back, there can’t be deterrence because you stepped in. #Letr2Jil

23. And you’re going to find yourself fighting endless battles. His amorous productivity is more efficient than your deterrence. #Letr2Jil

24. This man has become so reckless he’s lost control. He’s looking for something you don’t have and can’t have. #Letr2Jil

25. Whatever he’s looking for is not native to you. That’s why he doesn’t consider your offerings authentic. #Letr2Jil

26. Wear all the lingerie you can, if you like charter the whole of Victoria’s Secret, it won’t satisfy him. #Letr2Jil

27. Sin prefers native authenticity. #Letr2Jil

28. Saliva as glue can’t do much. You’re trying to patch up this marriage with saliva as it were. #Letr2Jil

29. And on top of it all he doesn’t seem to care despite threat to your life. He just keeps on like Energizer bunny. #Letr2Jil

30. He’s abdicated all responsibility for his recklessness; that’s troubling. And day by day he’s becoming more and more reckless. #Letr2Jil

31. Those insisting you stay to work things out aren’t risking their lives or their daughter’s. It’s your life that’s at stake. #Letr2Jil

32. A marriage that threatens to exterminate life is no marriage. Marriage is the celebration of life. #Letr2Jil

33. By the sheer fact this marriage threatens to snuff out your life it loses essence. Without your life no marriage! #Letr2Jil

34. You don’t wait to see what happens in this type of circumstances. That’s dangerous. #Letr2Jil

35. There is no remedy after death. #Letr2Jil

36. If you die from this marriage you’ll just become digitised gossip – a news item circulated and floating all over social media. #Letr2Jil

37. We’ll be talking about what could have been, what should have been…you know, woulda, coulda, shoulda…but you’ll be gone! #Letr2Jil

38. And your husband will shed some crocodile tears, but then he’ll be free to continue his pursuit of strange flesh. #Letr2Jil

39. Less than a year after you’re gone, he’ll remarry. Now up to your family to be putting in memoriams in the newspapers. #Letr2Jil

40. They’ll talk about their loss for which they’ll bear moral responsibility since they didn’t advice you wisely… #Letr2Jil

41. Your family will wish you were here. #Letr2Jil

42. But all that is platitude – medicine after death. You had no business losing your life in the first place. #Letr2Jil

43. Of what use is Coca-Cola advertisement to those in the grave? #Letr2Jil

44. And so I’m asking you to take responsibility for your own life, to look at extant facts. #Letr2Jil

45. You have to sit down and re-evaluate this marriage. Is this man worth dying for? #Letr2Jil

46. You have to determine what risks are reasonable, or not in the circumstances. You have to draw a line somewhere. #Letr2Jil

47. If he’s unwilling to alter the aggressive course of his life, you have YOUR decision to make. #Letr2Jil

48. Especially when those pursuits constitute a threat to your life and your baby’s. Truth is, he really doesn’t care either way. #Letr2Jil

49. It takes two to have a wonderful marriage but it requires only one party to destroy a marriage. #Letr2Jil

50. No matter the wonderful qualities of one party there are marriages that can’t hold up on the strength of that one party. #Letr2Jil

51. If one party is dedicated to the destruction of a marriage, he or she rubbishes the constructive effort of the other party. #Letr2Jil

52. You can’t clap with one hand. That’s an analogy of the binary necessity of marriage. #Letr2Jil

53. There has to be that essential willingness to forge a successful union in a marriage. #Letr2Jil

54. Without that desire, that willingness, a marriage will become an emotional burden. #Letr2Jil

55. When a marriage becomes a death threat that is something out of the contemplation of even God. #Letr2Jil

56. Your husband is suffering from an inability to handle wealth. #Letr2Jil

57. Access to money, as well as a glamorous profession is making him lose his head. #Letr2Jil

58. That can happen to young men easily. It’s why discipline must be cultivated. #Letr2Jil

59. Ingrained discipline functions like a gyroscope. The ship may bob but will somehow right itself. It’ll seek to regain balance. #Letr2Jil

60. Why don’t you sit down with your family and explain the situation to them. Tell them the truth. #Letr2Jil

61. Any parents who love their child will not insist on continuation given these facts. #Letr2Jil

62. There’s doctrinal ideology and there’s commonsense. Sometimes commonsense is what’s required. Or why would God give us sense! #Letr2Jil

63. Your mentor, LA #Letr2Jil © Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com

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BALANCE everything


1. *Noah* built the *ark* by faith but, he used measurements. There is a place for rational thinking in our walk of faith. Not all decisions should be made with blind hope!

2. *Sarah’s pregnancy* was a miracle, but it took nine months just like any other. God’s plans do not negate the importance of process. Sometime you need to wait or work it out.

3. The *stone* that killed *Goliath* might have been anointed, but *David’s skill* was also involved. Developing skills does not mean you are not anointed. If you play a piano, play it to the fullest. Don’t take us through the agony of listening to your cacophony in the name of “singing to the Lord”. Skills are important. There is nothing rude with telling that sister “you can’t sing, find something else to do in the house of God”.

4. *Esther* received favor to become *queen*, but she also bathed and prepared her appearance. Preparation is key to become fit for the occasion. Get knowledge, go to school. Stop blaming auto-correct, check your spelling even here on social media. Prepare, because some of us expect nothing but the best from you!

5. The *promised land* was full of milk and honey, but they also had to plow, feed cattle, and take care of sheep. Miracles are communication tools that God uses to instill trust, faith and the knowledge of his nature. You need to work, don’t expect miracles in a specific area of life all the time. No one pays rent for a full year with miracle money. We need it, we want it, but God wants what is permanent.

6. *God* is the one who *created human capacity* to memorize things, yet he also told many prophets to write their message. Spirituality does not mean we should not use tools to package the message.

7. *Ruth* received favor to marry *Boaz*, but the coaching of Naomi was necessary. Human coaching is necessary, you need to submit and learn from someone. It will spare you from silly mistakes.

8. *Moses* could hear directly from God, but he was wearing himself out with work, it was the wisdom of his father in law that saved him from dying a premature death with exhaustion. It is wisdom to put on a seat belt, brush teeth, and adhere to medical advise. Being spiritual does not mean asking angels to cook food for you!

9. *Namaan* was a mighty soldier and a friend of Kings, but he acted as influenced by a Jewish maiden. Even important people are influenced by”insignificant”people. The key thing is proximity that generates influence.

Mishandling of the natural world can cause hinderance to progress, and a total neglect of the spiritual world will definitely cause total failure in all areas of life.

*Balance is the key.*

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#Letr2Jack – THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS by Leke Alder

1. My dear Jack, I’m sure you’ve heard about The Seven Deadly Sins. #Letr2Jack

2. They’re the stuff of legend in Hollywood. There’s even a movie with that title, though of a disturbing nature. #Letr2Jack

3. The movie is about a psychopath. (Why do they always have those psychopaths for these things?) #Letr2Jack

4. The seven deadly sins are Solomonic actually. They are the seven abominations. #Letr2Jack

5. Though “The Parson’s Tale” in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales as well as artworks like Dante’s Purgatory help illustrate the sins. #Letr2Jack

6. If you want to have a successful marriage you have to be mindful of the seven deadly sins. #Letr2Jack

7. The seven deadly sins are gula (gluttony), fornicatio (fornication), avaritia (avarice)… #Letr2Jack

8. …superbia (pride), tristitia (envy), ira (wrath) and vanagloria (boasting). These are Latinate. #Letr2Jack

9. The first deadly sin is gluttony. You expose yourself through gluttony. It’s a dangerous lack of gastronomical governance. #Letr2Jack

10. You may shorten your lifespan through gluttony. There are health challenges. And when you’re gone the marriage is gone. #Letr2Jack

11. The 2nd deadly sin is fornication. It can expose you to venereal diseases. There’s the possibility of blackmail with adultery.#Letr2Jack

12. Not to talk of the untidiness of having a child out of wedlock. God help you if the lady is of a vicious disposition. #Letr2Jack

13. You’re stuck with that lady for life. And you may lose your marriage. It’s just untidy. You have a lot of explaining to do. #Letr2Jack

14. The third deadly sin is avarice. Avarice is dangerous. The love of money is the root of all evil. Avarice opens you to evil. #Letr2Jack

15. Get out of the rat race, you’re not a rat. #Letr2Jack

16. Trying to be like the Joneses will only get you into trouble. Don’t do what you can’t afford. #Letr2Jack

17. The fourth deadly sin is pride. When there’s pride quarrels can’t be easily settled in a marriage. Ego gets in the way. #Letr2Jack

18. The fifth deadly sin is envy. The envy of spouse is deadly. #Letr2Jack

19. It means you can’t appreciate your spouse, can’t celebrate her accomplishments. #Letr2Jack

20. You’ll be seeking control. She can’t be free to be all she can be. Aspirations will become a problem in the home. #Letr2Jack

21. In a marriage envy can easily develop into hatred. It’s why you run from any notion of it. Hatred grotesques the hater. #Letr2Jack

22. The sixth deadly sin is wrath. Wrath leads to violence. Violence can result in murder. #Letr2Jack

23. There’s the issue of emotional abuse in marriage. It is the very antithesis of marriage. #Letr2Jack

24. The seventh deadly sin is boasting. But love is not boastful or proud. #Letr2Jack

25. By some account there’s an eighth deadly sin and that is dejection. It’s also known as moodiness. #Letr2Jack

26. Moodiness is a dangerous emotion. It shouldn’t be romanced. It is a dark malevolent spirit. #Letr2Jack

27. Moodiness brings darkness to a home, invites the spirit of melancholy and depression. It’s the death of happiness. #Letr2Jack

28. The first thing a melancholic spirit does is exile joy from a marriage. Then depression assumes authority. #Letr2Jack

29. Depression is very dangerous. It’s why we must not joke with moodiness. There are healthier emotional tools. #Letr2Jack

30. Work hard to avoid the seven deadly sins in your marriage, you and your spouse. #Letr2Jack

31. But that eighth deadly sin is also translated sloth in some accounts. It’s acedia in Latin. #Letr2Jack

32. A man can’t afford to be lazy, especially a married man. #Letr2Jack

33. A married man has responsibilities. He must be up and doing trying to earn a keep for his family. #Letr2Jack

34. There are bills to be paid – rent, food, utilities, school fees… There are familial responsibilities as well. #Letr2Jack

35. The idea of a lazy man is dissonant to marriage. The lazy man soon loses respect in marriage. Here are some Solomonics: #Letr2Jack

36. “Poor is he who works with a negligent and idle hand. The hand of the diligent makes him rich.” #Letr2Jack

37. “The sluggard buries his hand in the dish; it wears him out to bring it back to his mouth.” #Letr2Jack

38. “Whoever is slack in his work is a brother to him who destroys.” #Letr2Jack

39. “The sluggard says, ‘There’s a lion in the road! There’s a lion in the streets.'” (Meaning the lazy man is full of excuses). #Letr2Jack

40. “As a door turns on its hinges, so does a sluggard on his bed.” #Letr2Jack

41. But just as there are seven deadly sins there are also seven classical virtues. They will serve you well in marriage. #Letr2Jack

42. The seven classical virtues are castilas (chastity), temperantia (temperance), liberalitas (generosity)… #Letr2Jack

43. …industria (diligence), patientia (patience), humanitas (kindness), and humilitas (humility). #Letr2Jack

44. You can’t go wrong with the seven classical virtues. They mitigate the seven deadly sins. #Letr2Jack

45. Control your carnal appetite. If you don’t you will become what you never envisaged. You will surprise yourself. #Letr2Jack

46. Control your temperament. A man must have rule over his spirit. You can’t be ruled by emotions. #Letr2Jack

47. Be generous to your spouse. You’re being generous to yourself. Liberality enriches a home. #Letr2Jack

48. Be diligent at your work. This will bring you respect from your family. #Letr2Jack

49. Be patient in marriage. Patience is forbearance and tolerance. #Letr2Jack

50. Be kind to your spouse. Kindness evokes doxological gratitude and expression of appreciation. #Letr2Jack

51. Be humble in marriage. No one is always right. No one knows it all. Marriage is a learning curve. #Letr2Jack

52. The summary of the seven classical virtues is love. Love your spouse. #Letr2Jack

53. Love constrains us, love restrains us, love encourages us, love requires courage. #Letr2Jack

54. You have both embarked on a life journey. Make the journey a pleasant experience. Love one another. #Letr2Jack

55. Marriage is a partnership of the soul. It is two souls in intimacy of the heart. #Letr2Jack

56. Marriage is such a wonderful thing. If only we get “ourselves” out of the way. #Letr2Jack

57. Be sincere with each other. Honesty deals with facts, sincerity is of the heart. #Letr2Jack

58. I look forward to many anniversaries and I wish you both a beautiful and wonderful marriage. #Letr2Jack

59. Your mentor, LA #Letr2Jack © Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com

60. Read, share & download #Letr2Jack – THE SEVEN DEADLY SINS at https://t.co/J2ATLbupRd now.

…awesome #60TweetsIn60Minutes…

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#Letr2Jack – PANCAKE by Leke Alder

1. Dear Jack, she isn’t the prettiest of girls but she’s kind. Something about her drew him to her. #Letr2Jack

2. She is not in his social class either. Very few would be. His father is rich. Very rich. #Letr2Jack

3. She recognized early on he could date other women – very beautiful women, and yet it was her he chose. #Letr2Jack

4. He trusts her implicitly. She’s selfless. It was that selflessness that created the trust. Selflessness creates trust. #Letr2Jack

5. There are no airs about her. She’s as basic as a piece of pancake. #Letr2Jack

6. No, not American pancake with all its embellishments and retinue of excesses. She’s just a basic person, a good soul. #Letr2Jack

7. She couldn’t even dress well. Her sartorial taste was terrible and passable in equal measure. #Letr2Jack

8. She is a friend, a girlfriend and mother all rolled into one. #Letr2Jack

9. It was to her he turned at the critical juncture of his life. He trusted her with his data and emotions. #Letr2Jack

10. Not that she totally understands him. But she loves him and cares for him. #Letr2Jack

11. Love bridges the gap in understanding. Love understands. #Letr2Jack

12. Relationships are not mathematical equations. It’s why lists hardly work. Who can mathematize emotions? #Letr2Jack

13. But unalloyed love, a good heart, trust and simple devotion form an incredible bond. #Letr2Jack

14. Kindness has a language of its own. It’s the language of the heart. #Letr2Jack

15. Kindness is attractive. She’s kind, he finds her attractive. He loves that heart. #Letr2Jack

16. When asked why her, he had no answer. Language is sometimes at a loss in expressing an understanding of the heart. #Letr2Jack

17. Love is more an essay than a multiple choice question. #Letr2Jack

18. He just knew she’s the right one for him and he had the courage of conviction. Not many do. #Letr2Jack

19. He refused to allow members of his family to pressurize him into regret. They had their candidate. #Letr2Jack

20. They were trying to pair him up with the daughter of one of his dad’s rich friends. She is beautiful. #Letr2Jack

21. Only they didn’t gel on the inside. The whole thing seemed expected and mechanical. #Letr2Jack

22. And the combination was political, aimed more at scoring public relations points for the families. #Letr2Jack

23. Such a combination would have been on the cover of Ovation Magazine. The bride, the groom and of course the parents! #Letr2Jack

24. Putting the pictures on Bella Naija seemed more important to the family than the quality of his happiness. #Letr2Jack

25. There was just something empty and dry in that match up. It felt like a pretty ill-fitting cloth. #Letr2Jack

26. And while he appreciated what that would mean to his mom in her social circle, it would do nothing for him. #Letr2Jack

27. He loved his mum but common sense told him not to go for induced matrimonial unhappiness. #Letr2Jack

28. His father was understanding. He wanted happiness for his son. #Letr2Jack

29. From the stories of his friends he knew the danger of marrying someone you don’t love, someone you don’t want. #Letr2Jack

30. It makes you feel suffocated. You become unhappy. And you feel trapped. #Letr2Jack

31. As per his mum, well, she knew too. Her story is interesting. #Letr2Jack

32. She was from a rich home, her husband was not. But they had this incredible chemistry. She felt he understood her. #Letr2Jack

33. She was matched up with someone herself. Indeed the wedding rites had commenced. #Letr2Jack

34. Being from a West African ancestry, the marriage was in layers of ceremony a European would not understand. #Letr2Jack

35. First came the “introduction.” That’s more like a semi-formal meet and greet between the families. #Letr2Jack

36. It should have been something simple but wealth can make simple things elaborate. #Letr2Jack

37. And so she had a lavish introduction designed to overwhelm the other family and send a message. #Letr2Jack

38. The message was, don’t mess with our daughter. She’s well taken care of and cherished (as you can see). #Letr2Jack

39. After that came the “engagement.” And this is no English engagement. This is Nigerian cultural variety. #Letr2Jack

40. A white classmate of hers was very impressed with the “costumes” worn at the engagement. #Letr2Jack

41. It was a big party. He father was a high chief, her mum also a chief. #Letr2Jack

42. The only problem was, she had misgivings. She wasn’t sure about the match. #Letr2Jack

43. She became afraid, and she couldn’t lay her hand on the issue. She just knew something wasn’t right. #Letr2Jack

44. But then, there was this very intelligent but nice fellow she had met in London. He seemed to be going somewhere. #Letr2Jack

45. They could laugh together to jokes many just didn’t understand. There was just something between them. #Letr2Jack

46. Only problem was she was already English engaged to this other guy. #Letr2Jack

47. Anyway, long story short she pulled the plug on the marriage plans, opted out. #Letr2Jack

48. It was a “big scandal” of course and there were a few expressions of indignation. But she knew they weren’t suited. #Letr2Jack

49. Curiously the guy was relieved after she aborted the ceremonies. He too knew they didn’t gel. Just “packaged” together. #Letr2Jack

50. She had reckoned it is emotionally cheaper to pull out of an engagement than to go into an unhappy marriage. #Letr2Jack

51. Well, that’s the story of his mum and dad. And boy, are they happy together! #Letr2Jack

52. And so his parents understood his reluctance to go into matrimonial gaol. #Letr2Jack

53. A good father does not stand in the way of his son’s happiness. A good father is supportive. #Letr2Jack

54. A good father does not sacrifice the happiness of his child for his public relations stunt. #Letr2Jack

55. And so his father gave his blessing. His mum too. She loves him. He’s her son and he’s a good son. #Letr2Jack

56. Well, they did marry. And he’s been happy ever since. She has this incredible chemistry with his mum. #Letr2Jack

57. Her sartorial taste did improve a little but she remained her basic self – plain pancake. #Letr2Jack

58. He does make fun of her. Tells her she’s lucky to have him. Calls her pancake, as in basic pancake. #Letr2Jack

59. She in turn jokes about what his life would have been married to American pancake. They’re very happy together. #Letr2Jack

60. The quality of heart matters in a relationship. Go for a good heart. #Letr2Jack

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#Letr2Jil – OVERT SEXUALITY by Leke Alder

1. My dear Jil, from what I can see, I think the problem is your extreme faith in overt sexuality. #Letr2Jil

2. You believe men can be manipulated sexually and you’re right. But you have a locked in contradiction in such philosophy. #Letr2Jil

3. It’s why you can’t understand why he’d go for this other girl though you’re prettier and more socially gifted. #Letr2Jil

4. There’s a way men view these things, I mean overt sexuality, and you need to be aware of that. #Letr2Jil

5. They see it as manipulatory. A manipulative spirit cannot be trusted. #Letr2Jil

6. And all that manipulation points to willfulness. That’s the underlying factor. #Letr2Jil

7. His family does not want their son to marry a manipulative person. They know there’s a willfulness locked in. #Letr2Jil

8. You can’t trust a willful person for the simple reason she’s unpredictable. Can do as she pleases. #Letr2Jil

9. A willful person does what she wills irrespective of consideration of any larger picture or local consequence. #Letr2Jil

10. People tend to be afraid of confiding in a willful person. She can divulge the information based on self-righteousness. #Letr2Jil

11. She can decide to divulge the confidence to the very subject matter of the information out of her wisdom. #Letr2Jil

12. She’ll do it because she believes that’s how things should be. Has her own agenda, believes she knows better than everyone. #Letr2Jil

13. A willful person is uncontrollable. She does what she likes, many times based on flawed and reckless judgment. #Letr2Jil

14. No one can trust a willful person. He who does, does so at his peril. #Letr2Jil

15. His mother doesn’t trust you because she can sense that willfulness and all that manipulativeness. #Letr2Jil

16. She can’t trust your gift. It’s all calculated, given with a pointed purposefulness. It’s not sincere. #Letr2Jil

17. In other words you’ve become too smart for your own good, to your own detriment. How’s that wisdom? #Letr2Jil

18. You need to imbibe simple sincerity. The overt sexuality is a put on. It’s insincerity with manipulative intent. #Letr2Jil

19. Yes, you can get men with all that sexual manipulativeness but you’ll still pale as wife material beside a sincere heart. #Letr2Jil

20. And it’s not as if you don’t have a good heart. Only that your smartness gets the better of you. It makes you untrustworthy. #Letr2Jil

21. And so you’re working against yourself, killing trust in you. And trust is the most important factor in marriage. #Letr2Jil

22. Would you trust a guy whose every act is designed to manipulate you? Would you trust his actions? Exactly! #Letr2Jil

23. The quality of relationship you want cannot accommodate sexual manipulation. The logic excludes manipulation of any type. #Letr2Jil

24. Why don’t you drop all that stuff going forward? You have enough going for you without it. #Letr2Jil

25. Don’t blame his mother for standing against you. You’d do the same if the tables were turned. #Letr2Jil

26. And clearly not all men are the same. The breed of man you want can’t abide all that manipulation. #Letr2Jil

27. Obviously what works to get some men will not work to get others. The universal formula for men is not universal after all. #Letr2Jil

28. But would most men notice the overt sexuality? Of course yes. Would all men take you to mama? Clearly no! #Letr2Jil

29. It stands to reason if you want to marry a trustworthy person portray trustworthiness yourself. #Letr2Jil

30. If you want wholesome relationship come across as wholesome. #Letr2Jil

31. But of course in your thinking you can’t see the connection between the overt sexuality and lack of trust. #Letr2Jil

32. That because YOU know you can keep secrets so why the lack of trust. #Letr2Jil

33. But men distinguish confidentiality from trust. It’s kind of technically nuanced for them. #Letr2Jil

34. Confidentiality is about information management, trust is about character. Trust is bigger. #Letr2Jil

35. Many will be loathe to call a manipulative person a person of character. #Letr2Jil

36. You never imagine anyone will call you manipulative but that’s the quality of all that overt sexuality. #Letr2Jil

37. From what I gathered, this other girl is not that pretty. But she has solid character. Can be trusted implicitly. #Letr2Jil

38. And that’s what he went for. That trust meant more to him than all your beauty and sexuality combined. #Letr2Jil

39. He’s afraid you can do him in in future. You’re willful and your sense of what is right is based on your selfish agenda. #Letr2Jil

40. Don’t forget you’ve hurt him before. He told you something confidentially and you took it to the subject matter. #Letr2Jil

41. You believed you knew better than him, that you were pursing the right course, even on his behalf and that’s pride. #Letr2Jil

42. There’s a price you pay for such willfulness. No one will trust you with confidences. #Letr2Jil

43. These are very big issues with men. Willfulness rubs men off. #Letr2Jil

44. Some divorcees will readily attest to the fact that beauty means nothing without character. #Letr2Jil

45. The irony is you want to be perceived as having character, yet you do things that erode perception of character. #Letr2Jil

46. I don’t know if you can snatch him back from this girl. Plus they had known each other from school. He’s tired of you. #Letr2Jil

47. She was his friend in school, and she seems like a breath of sincere air compared to your overly sexual presentations. #Letr2Jil

48. He trusts her. Implicitly. In his moments of crisis in school it was her he turned to. #Letr2Jil

49. She was there for him without a marriage objective. She was his friend in the true sense of the word. #Letr2Jil

50. But all what you do seems geared towards marriage. She did things for him sincerely, like a friend. #Letr2Jil

51. You were so intent on being girlfriend you forgot to be his friend. #Letr2Jil

52. You were so focused on being sexually attractive you forgot to be character attractive. #Letr2Jil

53. It’s why you lost out even though you thought you had an edge over her. #Letr2Jil

54. I’m not sure you realize it but you had a trophy wife strategy rather than a trusted wife objective. #Letr2Jil

55. It’s no wonder his mother threw her weight behind the other girl. She knows her every expression of respect is genuine. #Letr2Jil

56. But you express respect to his mum because that’s what you’re supposed to do to get him and she sees through it. #Letr2Jil

57. It’s like your gifts. It’s all calculated. Both gifts and respect are coming from the same place. #Letr2Jil

58. Unfortunately, you don’t want to marry the kind of men who respond to overt sexuality. That’s your contradiction. #Letr2Jil

59. All your actions are thus tinged with calculated insincerity. It’s why you lost out. #Letr2Jil

60. At the end of the day every man needs a woman he can trust. You’d want a man you can trust too. #Letr2Jil

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Breaking News!!! Another Veteran Actor Dies

The news broke this morning about the demise of a Yoruba Veteran Actor – Adeshina Adesanya fondly called Pastor Ajidara. The actor died of Kidney failure which he had been battling for months.

Actor Yomi Fash Lanso @officialyomifashlanso1 took to Instagram to break the news. In his short video, he thanked everyone who donated towards the health of the late actor, not forgetting those who prayed and wished him recovery.

We pray to God to accept his soul and give his family fortitude to bear the loss.

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Breaking News – Joshua beats Klitschko

In the World Heavyweight bout – Anthony Joshua @Anthonyfjoshua wins Vladmir Klitschko on the 11th round after a sensational bout of knockdowns. The game was described as ‘Life and Death’ but Joshua came out victorious as he knock down Klitschko on the 11th round.

This makes 19 wins of 19 fights for World Heavyweight Anthony Joshua as he defeats a rather experienced Klitschko. Congrats bro!

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