#Letr2Jil – OVERT SEXUALITY by Leke Alder

1. My dear Jil, from what I can see, I think the problem is your extreme faith in overt sexuality. #Letr2Jil

2. You believe men can be manipulated sexually and you’re right. But you have a locked in contradiction in such philosophy. #Letr2Jil

3. It’s why you can’t understand why he’d go for this other girl though you’re prettier and more socially gifted. #Letr2Jil

4. There’s a way men view these things, I mean overt sexuality, and you need to be aware of that. #Letr2Jil

5. They see it as manipulatory. A manipulative spirit cannot be trusted. #Letr2Jil

6. And all that manipulation points to willfulness. That’s the underlying factor. #Letr2Jil

7. His family does not want their son to marry a manipulative person. They know there’s a willfulness locked in. #Letr2Jil

8. You can’t trust a willful person for the simple reason she’s unpredictable. Can do as she pleases. #Letr2Jil

9. A willful person does what she wills irrespective of consideration of any larger picture or local consequence. #Letr2Jil

10. People tend to be afraid of confiding in a willful person. She can divulge the information based on self-righteousness. #Letr2Jil

11. She can decide to divulge the confidence to the very subject matter of the information out of her wisdom. #Letr2Jil

12. She’ll do it because she believes that’s how things should be. Has her own agenda, believes she knows better than everyone. #Letr2Jil

13. A willful person is uncontrollable. She does what she likes, many times based on flawed and reckless judgment. #Letr2Jil

14. No one can trust a willful person. He who does, does so at his peril. #Letr2Jil

15. His mother doesn’t trust you because she can sense that willfulness and all that manipulativeness. #Letr2Jil

16. She can’t trust your gift. It’s all calculated, given with a pointed purposefulness. It’s not sincere. #Letr2Jil

17. In other words you’ve become too smart for your own good, to your own detriment. How’s that wisdom? #Letr2Jil

18. You need to imbibe simple sincerity. The overt sexuality is a put on. It’s insincerity with manipulative intent. #Letr2Jil

19. Yes, you can get men with all that sexual manipulativeness but you’ll still pale as wife material beside a sincere heart. #Letr2Jil

20. And it’s not as if you don’t have a good heart. Only that your smartness gets the better of you. It makes you untrustworthy. #Letr2Jil

21. And so you’re working against yourself, killing trust in you. And trust is the most important factor in marriage. #Letr2Jil

22. Would you trust a guy whose every act is designed to manipulate you? Would you trust his actions? Exactly! #Letr2Jil

23. The quality of relationship you want cannot accommodate sexual manipulation. The logic excludes manipulation of any type. #Letr2Jil

24. Why don’t you drop all that stuff going forward? You have enough going for you without it. #Letr2Jil

25. Don’t blame his mother for standing against you. You’d do the same if the tables were turned. #Letr2Jil

26. And clearly not all men are the same. The breed of man you want can’t abide all that manipulation. #Letr2Jil

27. Obviously what works to get some men will not work to get others. The universal formula for men is not universal after all. #Letr2Jil

28. But would most men notice the overt sexuality? Of course yes. Would all men take you to mama? Clearly no! #Letr2Jil

29. It stands to reason if you want to marry a trustworthy person portray trustworthiness yourself. #Letr2Jil

30. If you want wholesome relationship come across as wholesome. #Letr2Jil

31. But of course in your thinking you can’t see the connection between the overt sexuality and lack of trust. #Letr2Jil

32. That because YOU know you can keep secrets so why the lack of trust. #Letr2Jil

33. But men distinguish confidentiality from trust. It’s kind of technically nuanced for them. #Letr2Jil

34. Confidentiality is about information management, trust is about character. Trust is bigger. #Letr2Jil

35. Many will be loathe to call a manipulative person a person of character. #Letr2Jil

36. You never imagine anyone will call you manipulative but that’s the quality of all that overt sexuality. #Letr2Jil

37. From what I gathered, this other girl is not that pretty. But she has solid character. Can be trusted implicitly. #Letr2Jil

38. And that’s what he went for. That trust meant more to him than all your beauty and sexuality combined. #Letr2Jil

39. He’s afraid you can do him in in future. You’re willful and your sense of what is right is based on your selfish agenda. #Letr2Jil

40. Don’t forget you’ve hurt him before. He told you something confidentially and you took it to the subject matter. #Letr2Jil

41. You believed you knew better than him, that you were pursing the right course, even on his behalf and that’s pride. #Letr2Jil

42. There’s a price you pay for such willfulness. No one will trust you with confidences. #Letr2Jil

43. These are very big issues with men. Willfulness rubs men off. #Letr2Jil

44. Some divorcees will readily attest to the fact that beauty means nothing without character. #Letr2Jil

45. The irony is you want to be perceived as having character, yet you do things that erode perception of character. #Letr2Jil

46. I don’t know if you can snatch him back from this girl. Plus they had known each other from school. He’s tired of you. #Letr2Jil

47. She was his friend in school, and she seems like a breath of sincere air compared to your overly sexual presentations. #Letr2Jil

48. He trusts her. Implicitly. In his moments of crisis in school it was her he turned to. #Letr2Jil

49. She was there for him without a marriage objective. She was his friend in the true sense of the word. #Letr2Jil

50. But all what you do seems geared towards marriage. She did things for him sincerely, like a friend. #Letr2Jil

51. You were so intent on being girlfriend you forgot to be his friend. #Letr2Jil

52. You were so focused on being sexually attractive you forgot to be character attractive. #Letr2Jil

53. It’s why you lost out even though you thought you had an edge over her. #Letr2Jil

54. I’m not sure you realize it but you had a trophy wife strategy rather than a trusted wife objective. #Letr2Jil

55. It’s no wonder his mother threw her weight behind the other girl. She knows her every expression of respect is genuine. #Letr2Jil

56. But you express respect to his mum because that’s what you’re supposed to do to get him and she sees through it. #Letr2Jil

57. It’s like your gifts. It’s all calculated. Both gifts and respect are coming from the same place. #Letr2Jil

58. Unfortunately, you don’t want to marry the kind of men who respond to overt sexuality. That’s your contradiction. #Letr2Jil

59. All your actions are thus tinged with calculated insincerity. It’s why you lost out. #Letr2Jil

60. At the end of the day every man needs a woman he can trust. You’d want a man you can trust too. #Letr2Jil

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