#Letr2Jil – DEATH BECOMES HER by Leke Alder

1. My dear Jil, I know you didn’t study law but there’s a principle in law I’d like you to note. #Letr2Jil

2. When there’s litigation, say over an asset, the court does all it can to preserve the subject matter of the litigation. #Letr2Jil

3. You see if the subject matter is alienated or destroyed there can’t be justice. It renders moot the whole purpose of litigation.#Letr2Jil

4. That principle applies to your marriage, and the subject matter that needs preservation is your life. #Letr2Jil

5. If you lose your life to this marriage, there’ll be nothing to deliberate on about the marriage. It’s effectively over. #Letr2Jil

6. The subject matter then changes to a story – of tragedy, and a funeral. We’ll be speaking in hushed tones at your funeral. #Letr2Jil

7. This is a most dangerous marriage you’re in. Your life has been subjected to gruesome threat such as no one can contemplate. #Letr2Jil

8. Concerning the issue of life in marriage, it’s better to err on the side of caution. Prevention of loss of life is uppermost. #Letr2Jil

9. When we don’t err on the side of caution in these circumstances and the gruesome happens, we all acquire a haunted conscience. #Letr2Jil

10. What is alarming is that your husband’s present continuous anti-connubialism constitutes an ongoing threat to your life. #Letr2Jil

11. Your husband is most reckless and profligate in his libidinous explorations. Where will it end? #Letr2Jil

12. Aggrieved third parties have now decided to pursue your life in retaliation for his activities. Where’s this thing going?! #Letr2Jil

13. Then there’s the question of your dignity. (Won’t bother to elaborate.) You’re now at the mercy of third parties. #Letr2Jil

14. If your husband remains unrepentant of his wrong-headed amorous pursuits, your life will continue to be in possible danger. #Letr2Jil

15. If you die from this marriage you die for nothing. Your life is wasted. That’s why it will be a tragedy. #Letr2Jil

16. You obviously can’t see the tree for the forest. You need to step back. #Letr2Jil

17. Without stepping back you can’t see the stupidity of your dogged determination to preserve this marriage at your life’s risk. #Letr2Jil

18. Can’t you see? If you lose your life there’ll be no marriage to preserve. It’s that simple and it’s that cold. #Letr2Jil

19. Of course you have to bear responsibility for some of the stuff. You must accept responsibility for your choice. #Letr2Jil

20. You knew he was like this but like many women determined to marry, you thought marriage would change him. #Letr2Jil

21. And you thought you could wing it, handle it. You thought all those women would step back once you step in. #Letr2Jil

22. The truth is, unless he wants those women to step back, there can’t be deterrence because you stepped in. #Letr2Jil

23. And you’re going to find yourself fighting endless battles. His amorous productivity is more efficient than your deterrence. #Letr2Jil

24. This man has become so reckless he’s lost control. He’s looking for something you don’t have and can’t have. #Letr2Jil

25. Whatever he’s looking for is not native to you. That’s why he doesn’t consider your offerings authentic. #Letr2Jil

26. Wear all the lingerie you can, if you like charter the whole of Victoria’s Secret, it won’t satisfy him. #Letr2Jil

27. Sin prefers native authenticity. #Letr2Jil

28. Saliva as glue can’t do much. You’re trying to patch up this marriage with saliva as it were. #Letr2Jil

29. And on top of it all he doesn’t seem to care despite threat to your life. He just keeps on like Energizer bunny. #Letr2Jil

30. He’s abdicated all responsibility for his recklessness; that’s troubling. And day by day he’s becoming more and more reckless. #Letr2Jil

31. Those insisting you stay to work things out aren’t risking their lives or their daughter’s. It’s your life that’s at stake. #Letr2Jil

32. A marriage that threatens to exterminate life is no marriage. Marriage is the celebration of life. #Letr2Jil

33. By the sheer fact this marriage threatens to snuff out your life it loses essence. Without your life no marriage! #Letr2Jil

34. You don’t wait to see what happens in this type of circumstances. That’s dangerous. #Letr2Jil

35. There is no remedy after death. #Letr2Jil

36. If you die from this marriage you’ll just become digitised gossip – a news item circulated and floating all over social media. #Letr2Jil

37. We’ll be talking about what could have been, what should have been…you know, woulda, coulda, shoulda…but you’ll be gone! #Letr2Jil

38. And your husband will shed some crocodile tears, but then he’ll be free to continue his pursuit of strange flesh. #Letr2Jil

39. Less than a year after you’re gone, he’ll remarry. Now up to your family to be putting in memoriams in the newspapers. #Letr2Jil

40. They’ll talk about their loss for which they’ll bear moral responsibility since they didn’t advice you wisely… #Letr2Jil

41. Your family will wish you were here. #Letr2Jil

42. But all that is platitude – medicine after death. You had no business losing your life in the first place. #Letr2Jil

43. Of what use is Coca-Cola advertisement to those in the grave? #Letr2Jil

44. And so I’m asking you to take responsibility for your own life, to look at extant facts. #Letr2Jil

45. You have to sit down and re-evaluate this marriage. Is this man worth dying for? #Letr2Jil

46. You have to determine what risks are reasonable, or not in the circumstances. You have to draw a line somewhere. #Letr2Jil

47. If he’s unwilling to alter the aggressive course of his life, you have YOUR decision to make. #Letr2Jil

48. Especially when those pursuits constitute a threat to your life and your baby’s. Truth is, he really doesn’t care either way. #Letr2Jil

49. It takes two to have a wonderful marriage but it requires only one party to destroy a marriage. #Letr2Jil

50. No matter the wonderful qualities of one party there are marriages that can’t hold up on the strength of that one party. #Letr2Jil

51. If one party is dedicated to the destruction of a marriage, he or she rubbishes the constructive effort of the other party. #Letr2Jil

52. You can’t clap with one hand. That’s an analogy of the binary necessity of marriage. #Letr2Jil

53. There has to be that essential willingness to forge a successful union in a marriage. #Letr2Jil

54. Without that desire, that willingness, a marriage will become an emotional burden. #Letr2Jil

55. When a marriage becomes a death threat that is something out of the contemplation of even God. #Letr2Jil

56. Your husband is suffering from an inability to handle wealth. #Letr2Jil

57. Access to money, as well as a glamorous profession is making him lose his head. #Letr2Jil

58. That can happen to young men easily. It’s why discipline must be cultivated. #Letr2Jil

59. Ingrained discipline functions like a gyroscope. The ship may bob but will somehow right itself. It’ll seek to regain balance. #Letr2Jil

60. Why don’t you sit down with your family and explain the situation to them. Tell them the truth. #Letr2Jil

61. Any parents who love their child will not insist on continuation given these facts. #Letr2Jil

62. There’s doctrinal ideology and there’s commonsense. Sometimes commonsense is what’s required. Or why would God give us sense! #Letr2Jil

63. Your mentor, LA #Letr2Jil © Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com


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