#Letr2Jil – SWISS ARMY KNIFE by Leke Alder

1. My dear Jil, at some point you’ll have to take responsibility for your life, especially as it concerns marriage. #Letr2Jil

2. I do understand your mom’s concerns but she’s only looking at the “image” of the family, not your emotional health. #Letr2Jil

3. This guy you’re betrothed to… He doesn’t love you. He’s just taking advantage of your inexperience and youth. #Letr2Jil

4. But life assumes you’re mature enough to handle issues by yourself once you decide you want to marry. #Letr2Jil

5. The situation is still redeemable however. There’s no “court wedding” yet, just the traditional stuff. #Letr2Jil

6. Return his dowry to him and tell him to keep the change. This guy will make your life hell. It’s not too late to back out. #Letr2Jil

7. And you ought to take a firm stance with your parents. You’re bearing your cross on your way to matrimonial Golgotha. #Letr2Jil

8. You’re betrothed to a guy who’s physically and emotionally abusive. And he has not married you yet! #Letr2Jil

9. And he only sees you as an exploitable sexual implement – something to do his libidinous bidding. #Letr2Jil

10. If you’re not careful this guy will rape you in marriage. He’s sexually desperate and he knows you’re not experienced. #Letr2Jil

11. Which is why he keeps plying you with porn material. That, my Jil, is his performance standard. #Letr2Jil

12. He expects you to fulfill his porn fantasies. Your non-yieldedness and poor skill set in that region is frustrating him. #Letr2Jil

13. And yet he chose to marry a virgin. He went after you for that very fact thus creating contradictions. #Letr2Jil

14. Since there’s no love in the relationship – just expectations of matrimonial obligations, you’re freezing up. #Letr2Jil

15. Which only fuels his frustration and anger, and greater need of fulfillment of sexual fantasies. #Letr2Jil

16. There’s thus a huge contradiction locked up in this relationship. An incredible contradiction. #Letr2Jil

17. The contradiction in the relationship can’t be resolved for the simple fact you have to become what he wouldn’t marry. #Letr2Jil

18. The man who wants a sexually experienced virgin lives in contradiction and fantasy. #Letr2Jil

19. But even more worrisome is the incessant emotional and physical abuse. This guy will damage your sense of worth. #Letr2Jil

20. As it is, you don’t even have the boldness to get out though you can see the flames for your sacrifice being prepared. #Letr2Jil

21. Tell your parents you don’t want to be married to this man. He’s abusive, period! #Letr2Jil

22. You packed out of this man’s house once you can pack out again. Do it for the last time before he damages you. #Letr2Jil

23. All that talk about how you’ll take care of yourself is secondary. You’ll find a way one way or the other. #Letr2Jil

24. This man is not looking for a bride he’s looking for a matrimonial and sexual appliance. #Letr2Jil

25. He imagines you as a matrimonial Swiss army knife – can be used to cook, clean the house and fulfill sexual fantasies. #Letr2Jil

26. And he’s mitigating the fact of the abuse by burnishing his PR with your parents through bribery and gifts. #Letr2Jil

27. They can’t see what you’re seeing. Their image of your “husband” is quite different from your reality. #Letr2Jil

28. And now he’s brought a prophetess into the fray. And she’s giving tailored “prophecies.” #Letr2Jil

29. This prophetess is seeing visions according to your local currency. #Letr2Jil

30. All that talk about some forces locking you up…you better not believe. It’s false prophecy. #Letr2Jil

31. There are thus three control protocols he’s established – his emotional abuse, the prophetess, your parents. #Letr2Jil

32. The “prophetess” preys on your spiritual ignorance; your parents exert moral authority; he domesticates with physical abuse. #Letr2Jil

33. I’d advice you ignore the “prophecies” of this “prophetess.” They don’t accord with scriptures. #Letr2Jil

34. Marriage is not something you should dread going into. It’s supposed to be a joyful and happy thing. #Letr2Jil

35. You’re supposed to be loved and wooed in marriage. You’re not some mechanical componentry. #Letr2Jil

36. Sex in marriage can’t be a command and control issue. It’s not some army drill by a shrill predatory commandant. #Letr2Jil

37. Sex in marriage is supposed to be loving and affirming, not an abusive obligatoriness. #Letr2Jil

38. And you didn’t know this gentleman before you got engaged to him. You engaged on moral authority. #Letr2Jil

39. If you can’t make a rational and intelligent appraisal of someone wooing you for marriage, you’re not mature for it. #Letr2Jil

40. After all the ceremonies are done and gone, you alone are left at the mercy of the caprices of this man. #Letr2Jil

41. A man can’t be brutal to his wife. There’s just something emotionally repulsive about the execution of such vision. #Letr2Jil

42. An older gentleman who chose to marry a young and inexperienced bride must learn to exercise patience. #Letr2Jil

43. Or he shouldn’t have married from that category. There are more “experienced” women out there. #Letr2Jil

44. A home ought to be full of love and affection. That ought to be the default mode. An otherwise is an aberration. #Letr2Jil

45. And this idea marriage is supposed to be difficult, something a woman must endure… Who came up with the misogynistic mantra? #Letr2Jil

46. Life is difficult enough. A marriage shouldn’t be. It’s supposed to mitigate the harshness of life. #Letr2Jil

47. Your parents are leading you like a lamb to the slaughter. By the time they’re gone your life will be full of bitterness. #Letr2Jil

48. Surely their love ought to be stronger than this man’s social security stipends. There are things you do for your daughter. #Letr2Jil

49. The whole abuse stuff is being patched up like a building commenced without engineering details, like some mud hut. #Letr2Jil

50. Don’t compound the mistake you have made already. Get out while you can. #Letr2Jil

51. If while your parents are alive he’s treating you this way imagine what will happen when they’re gone. #Letr2Jil

52. You’ll have no emotional and moral support. He’s preying on the trado-cultural upbringing of your mum. #Letr2Jil

53. Surely there are men out there who’ll treat you like a bride, men who don’t see a wife as a utilitarian implement. #Letr2Jil

54. It’s never advisable to marry someone who doesn’t love you. Don’t marry your abuser. If you do you have Stockholm syndrome. #Letr2Jil

55. You already know you won’t be happy in this marriage. Why press on with the ceremonial rites? #Letr2Jil

56. It’s emotionally cheaper to have a broken engagement than a broken marriage. #Letr2Jil

57. Pull the plug on this horrible adventure before your life becomes a parable. #Letr2Jil

58. You’ll make a few people unhappy but at least you’ll have your life. And you’ll have freedom. #Letr2Jil

59. A marriage is not supposed to be a heavy-duty gaol with iron bars of shame and horror. #Letr2Jil

60. Have courage. #Letr2Jil

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1. What if…Imaginative adventures in faith. Chapter 7: What if Sapphira had told the truth about the landed property? #Illuminare

2. (This question was submitted by Olubukola Deborah Ashley) #Illuminare

3. Just to be sure we’re talking about the same woman, Sapphira was the second half of that infamous duo in the Bible. #Illuminare

4. Sapphira and Ananias were the husband and wife team who sold property and made false asset declaration. #Illuminare

5. The whole thing had to do with a guy named Barnabas so let’s take a look at Barnabas. #Illuminare

6. Barnabas was the guy who went on a missionary journey with Paul. But that’s only half the story. #Illuminare

7. It was Barnabas who brought Paul “inside” when everyone was skittish about the genuineness of his conversion. (Acts 9:26-27) #Illuminare

8. Paul had gruesomely persecuted the church. Everyone was afraid of him. He was a vicious and highly motivated pitbull. #Illuminare

9. People like Paul don’t do half measure. He’s a commitment guy and Barnabas admired that in him. They had that in common. #Illuminare

10. Some of the Paul and Barnabas adventures sound Indiana Jones. The Lystrans wanted to sacrifice to them. (Acts 14:8-18) #Illuminare

11. They thought Paul and Barnabas were gods. Paul had healed a cripple. Only the gods could do that. (Acts 14:8-18) #Illuminare

12. Barnabas had this huge reputation and he had a profound influence on others, including Ananias. The guy was inspiring. #Illuminare

13. Unlike many early believers Barnabas was rich, had assets. Barnabas was actually not his baptismal name. It was a nickname. #Illuminare

14. His original name was Joe, as in Joses or the Greek variant, Joseph. So you can call Barnabas Apostle Joe! #Illuminare

15. He was probably named Barnabas because he kept on stepping up to the plate whenever the church had a need. #Illuminare

16. He kept rescuing the church, giving towards projects. Barnabas means “Son of Encouragement.” #Illuminare

17. Barnabas is the kind of guy a Pastor thanks God for, hence the nickname “Son of Consolation.” #Illuminare

18. But Barnabas wasn’t the only rich guy in church. There were other rich folks. #Illuminare

19. The rich guys wanted to help the poor so they set up a poverty alleviation fund. They sold assets and donated yield. #Illuminare

20. One of those rich guys was Ananias. As soon as he saw Barnabas donate proceeds from asset sale he became motivated. #Illuminare

21. He sold a property but then became “smart.” In complicity with his wife he kept back part of the proceeds. (Acts 5:1-2) #Illuminare

22. Which would have been okay if they had simply said they wanted to make a donation. But they wanted glory. #Illuminare

23. They made it seem like they were giving their all, like Barnabas. In truth they were kind of hedging their bet. #Illuminare

24. No one really knew what this new religious movement was all about or where it was headed. #Illuminare

25. It didn’t even have a name, no formal identity. The disciples won’t be known as Christians until much later. (Acts 11:26) #Illuminare

26. The summary is that both Ananias and Sapphira died of heart attack, right there in church. Everyone became afraid. #Illuminare

27. “…Everyone who heard of these things had a healthy respect for God. They knew God was not to be trifled with.” (Acts 5:11) #Illuminare

28. Don’t mess around with God. This “Christian thing” is potent stuff. (Acts 5:11) #Illuminare

29. But here’s the challenge. Ananias and Sapphira were both under grace. And they were baptized with the Holy Spirit. #Illuminare

30. Like Ananias and Sapphira modern day Christians lie to their pastors yet they don’t fall dead in church. Question is why? #Illuminare

31. Why was the sin of Ananias and Sapphira sin unto death? (1 John 5:16) #Illuminare

32. The only other instance of sin unto death in the New Testament was found among the Corinthians. #Illuminare

33. They didn’t honour the body of Christ at communion. They drank and ate God’s judgment upon themselves. (I Cor. 11:29) #Illuminare

34. Clearly Ananias & Sapphira didn’t honour the Body. They lied to the Holy Spirit & so violated unity of the Body. (Acts 1:14) #Illuminare

35. The unity of the Body and the operation of the Holy Spirit are coextensive. (Psalm 133:1-2) #Illuminare

36. But there were other factors responsible for their demise – political factors. This was an epochal period. #Illuminare

37. It was the beginning of the Church age, the formalization of the constitution of what we now know as the Body of Christ. #Illuminare

38. Christ had taken up session in Heaven as the Sheblimini – the One who sits on the right hand of Majesty on high. #Illuminare

39. Events on earth were being synchonised with the new reality in Heaven – the Christ with a mystic body made up of humans. #Illuminare

40. God had also just signed a new social contract with mankind, and human calendar had just changed, from BC to AD. #Illuminare

41. The correction of the Adamic distortion had also begun. The Last Adam had just assumed federal status. #Illuminare

42. And the world was transitioning from the jurisdiction of the Law to the dispensation of grace. #Illuminare

43. (Grace is a calendric political dispensation, not some I’m feeling good I can do whatever I like stuff). #Illuminare

44. The Spirit had also just assumed Directorship on earth. This was a political role – liaison between Kingdom Annex and HQ. #Illuminare

45. This wasn’t the time to pull off the kind of stunt Ananias and Sapphira concocted. The earth was too politically charged. #Illuminare

46. Everything was political at that moment; it’s why a misdemeanor would turn into capital offence and criminal conspiracy. #Illuminare

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Stewardship – By Pastor Sam Adeyemi

1. The increase or reduction in the volume of resources someone can handle is purely a function of their stewardship. #Stewardship

2. Resources will always flow from those that don’t manage them well to those who manage them well. #Stewardship

3. In Psalms 78:70-72, David progressed from managing sheep to managing people because of his Stewardship. #Stewardship

4. Jesus said you can be trusted to manage the most valuable resources when you can manage money. #Stewardship

5. The most valuable resource on earth is Man and God is jealous over this resource. #Stewardship

6. Many countries don’t know that the reason for their poverty is the way they treat people & not the lack of natural resources #Stewardship

7. Families, organizations and nations rise or fall depending on the way they treat people. #Stewardship

8. What is of concern to God the most is how you treat human beings. The human life is valuable to God. #Stewardship

9. There are families, businesses, organizations, churches, that are dysfunctional simply because of the way people are treated #Stewardship

10. How you treat other people impact on your success or progress. #Stewardship

11. The basic stewardship principle is that God owns everything. You cannot own a Human Being! #Stewardship

12. You don’t own your husband, wife, children, employees, or church members. You cannot own human a life, it is too valuable. #Stewardship

13. Parenting will be better done when we realize we are only stewards of the lives of our Children. #Stewardship

14. Some employers behave as if they own the employees under them simply because they pay their salaries. #Stewardship

15. Being an employee is not the same as a slave. That you pay somebody’s salary does not mean you bought them from the market. #Stewardship

16. You must understand that when you work with an organization, it is simply a contract. You are not a slave to anybody. #Stewardship

17. The most important thing God wants you to do with people is to Love them.(John 3:16; 1st John 3:16; John 10: 11-13) #Stewardship

18. The stewardship of people is about leadership and the highest priority of God is to love people. #Stewardship

19. If you don’t have the capacity to love as a leader; your failure is guaranteed. #Stewardship

20. Without genuine care for people you won’t have creative vision to add value to people’s lives. #Stewardship

21. No love, No vision. Vision is critical to leadership and Leadership is important to God. #Stewardship

22. David laid down his life for his father’s sheep and God disrupted the Royal line to make him king. #Stewardship

23. Many of us don’t know when God runs the test on us. The test to see whether you are a shepherd or a hireling. #Stewardship

25. Everyone occupying positions of influence who doesn’t have Love for people, I declare that their positions have expired. #Stewardship

26. I receive for you empowerment of the Holy Spirit & I declare a change of status for you. Your season of promotion is here. #Stewardship

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#Letr2Jack – SETTLING QUARRELS by Leke Alder

1. Dear Jack, both you and Jil have to learn to settle your quarrels internally. #Letr2Jack

2. Resorting to third party adjudication of your matrimonial disputes ought to be a last resort. Really last resort. #Letr2Jack

3. Every relationship ought to have its own conflict resolution system, or simple fights will lead to break up. #Letr2Jack

4. It’s why you have to have a review mechanism for disagreements. There’ll always be points of disagreement. #Letr2Jack

5. Many times the facts in issue in themselves don’t warrant the breakup of a marriage. #Letr2Jack

6. There are very few facts in life which in themselves can lead to divorce. #Letr2Jack

7. What causes divorce many times is the poor management of disagreement. #Letr2Jack

8. When there’s a disagreement for example couples refuse to talk to each other and that’s poor management of disagreement. #Letr2Jack

9. You can’t resolve a quarrel when there’s no communication. #Letr2Jack

10. And so the critical thing in a marital dispute is to keep the backdoor of communication open. #Letr2Jack

11. You cannot foreclose communication when there’s marital dispute, or there’ll be no resolution. #Letr2Jack

12. Once you foreclose communication in a marital quarrel the marriage becomes imperiled. #Letr2Jack

13. And you know why we don’t want to break the ice when there’s disagreement? Pride! #Letr2Jack

14. No party wants to be the one who capitulates. But that “capitulation” is actually a sign of maturity. #Letr2Jack

15. Seek to discuss the issue. If you don’t discuss there can be no resolution, only exacerbation. #Letr2Jack

16. Which means we have to be careful what we say in a quarrel with our spouse, even in the heat of anger. #Letr2Jack

17. And once you start issuing ultimata in a marital quarrel, you give the other party no option but to defend his or her pride. #Letr2Jack

18. So avoid issuing ultimata and decreeing extreme threats in a marital dispute. #Letr2Jack

19. When you ratchet a threat extremity you’re practically saying it’s either my way or no more marriage. #Letr2Jack

20. Now, like I said the problem many times in a marital discord is not the facts. It’s the interpretation of the facts. #Letr2Jack

21. It is our perspective on simple facts that often create marital discord. #Letr2Jack

22. Let me illustrate. A man comes home but refuses to eat. Fact. There are many perspectives to the hunger strike. #Letr2Jack

23. Perspective 1: Oh, some girl has fed him. Perspective 2: He thinks I’m a terrible cook, nothing pleases him. #Letr2Jack

24. Perspective 3: He’s not eating because I said no to sex last night. Perspective 4: He’s not eating because he’s mean. #Letr2Jack

25. Truth is, all those perspectives may be false! The man may just have had a terrible day at work! #Letr2Jack

26. Of course when there’s no communication imagination runs wild and those perspectives become facts. #Letr2Jack

27. That’s how the man in our illustration suddenly begins to have an affair he’s not even aware of! #Letr2Jack

28. You see, when there’s a disagreement the human mind considers only negative scenarios. It’s jaundiced. #Letr2Jack

29. Here’s another thing to note: men and women view issues differently. #Letr2Jack

30. Because the sexes view issues differently there’ll be different interpretations of facts, unique interpretations. #Letr2Jack

31. Means in a quarrel, you’re going to have two sets of facts. Perspectives are facts remember! #Letr2Jack

32. In other words, you and your wife are not really talking about the same thing! You’re talking two different things! #Letr2Jack

33. Now, the routine we employ in the settling of quarrels is winded soliloquy – long serious speeches. #Letr2Jack

34. The man has his extensive say, pouring out HIS perspective, the woman does the same. #Letr2Jack

35. When soliloquys are delivered in a quarrel, truth is there’s NO communication, just pouring out of viewpoints. #Letr2Jack

36. And the soliloquy is usually done in anger by both parties. When there’s interruption that itself becomes a fight. #Letr2Jack

37. So it’s better to identify the facts and thrash them out one by one, each side explaining his or her viewpoint. #Letr2Jack

38. You’ll discover (with some exceptions) it’s the extrapolations, the opinions that are the problem not the facts. #Letr2Jack

39. And sometimes the cause of the quarrel is missing pieces of information – facts not communicated by either side. #Letr2Jack

40. And so judgments are made on incomplete information. When the full facts are shared both sides then look foolish. #Letr2Jack

41. You’ll wonder what the fight was all about when the quarrel is settled. Especially if both parties truly love each other. #Letr2Jack

42. And so the causes of most mischief in a marital quarrel are interpretation of facts, extrapolations and missing bits. #Letr2Jack

43. The character of communication about an issue can also create a problem. #Letr2Jack

44. In a marital quarrel you have to be careful about the words you use. You’ve got to control your anger. #Letr2Jack

45. The spirit of the prophet is subject to the prophet. You have control over your utterances. #Letr2Jack

46. And if you want someone to have a radical change of behavior in marriage, you first acknowledge the efforts made. #Letr2Jack

47. When you acknowledge effort you create encouragement. The other party feels appreciated, for effort. #Letr2Jack

48. Then you can ask for more. But in a positive tone, not a threatening or commanding tone. #Letr2Jack

49. Marriage is about cooperation. Marriage is a cooperative society. #Letr2Jack

50. You tease out cooperation in marriage. You can’t command cooperation. That’s a contradiction in terms. #Letr2Jack

51. Both of you sit down, and in a cooperative spirit go through the issues. Cooperative spirit I said. #Letr2Jack

52. In that spirit you’ll see how wrong you both are – as the other person gives his or her perspective to the set of facts. #Letr2Jack

53. Keep this objective in mind: the end of a marital quarrel should be greater love. #Letr2Jack

54. Disagreements are meant to bring you closer. Why? Because resolution creates greater understanding. #Letr2Jack

55. Marriage takes a lot of adjustment. But we sometimes ask for leaps of faith instead of adjustment. #Letr2Jack

56. We ask for those leaps of faith because we assume our perspective is what’s right. That our viewpoint is the standard. #Letr2Jack

57. After a resolved quarrel forgive. #Letr2Jack

58. Not only forgive, chuck out the whole thing. Don’t file “another thing” away. You’re not Ministry of Information. #Letr2Jack

59. That way, when next there’s a quarrel there’s no referencing of past quarrels. It’s how to have a good marriage. #Letr2Jack

60. Truth is, quarrels are sometimes indicative of the passion we have for a happy marriage. Convert the energy. #Letr2Jack

….that’s it…. #60TweetsIn60Minutes

Series: JacknJil
Title: Letr2Jack
Episode Title: Settling Quarels
By Leke Alder

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#Letr2Jil – WATCH THIS BEHAVIOR! By Leke Alder

1. My dear Jil, you have to be careful about a self-centered attitude in a relationship. It has consequences. #Letr2Jil

2. The problem many times is that people who exercise this trait are so used to it they’re not even self-aware. #Letr2Jil

3. They’re used to getting away with intolerable behavior. That is until the pliant boyfriend says he’s had enough. #Letr2Jil

4. Then like Esau they begin to cry to have the man back. They begin to beg for what was theirs. #Letr2Jil

5. Unbearable behavior cannot be your operating system. You will lose the relationship, even in marriage. #Letr2Jil

6. Selfishness inoculates against sensitivity. #Letr2Jil

7. There’s a limit to which you can push a man. Every man has a pushback point. And for many the answer is a walkout. #Letr2Jil

8. You should never assume someone can’t walk out of a relationship. That someone loves you is no license to do as you please. #Letr2Jil

9. And if you keep being selfish in your relationship…keep pushing the man, at some point he’ll walk out. #Letr2Jil

10. Now, I don’t know why you did what you did but you shouldn’t do such. You willfully hurt your boyfriend, said terrible things. #Letr2Jil

11. I’m troubled you did that to the one who cares for you – one of the few people who really care. #Letr2Jil

12. You need to examine why you did that. You must get to the root of it. Lest it haunts your marriage. #Letr2Jil

13. And if you push away all those who truly love you guess whom you’re left with! #Letr2Jil

14. Over-generalisation is very dangerous in life. You can’t blame all men for your bad experiences. #Letr2Jil

15. You can’t hate men and want to marry a man. There’s something contradictory in that somewhere. #Letr2Jil

16. You need to get rid of that anger, that bitterness… If you don’t it will destroy your happiness in marriage. #Letr2Jil

17. There’s something down there you need to resolve… That thing that makes you lash out at people involuntarily. #Letr2Jil

18. It’s almost a reflex action, the lashing out. And it’s highly unpredictable. Don’t even know if you’re aware. #Letr2Jil

19. It suggests you mediate on perceived sleights, that you reach thought conclusions that are filled with pain and frustration. #Letr2Jil

20. On the surface you seem to be okay, there’s restraint; but the topography of your heart betrays you. #Letr2Jil

21. There’s something in there that makes you want to punish people indiscriminately. You have to excavate it. #Letr2Jil

22. And you’re so locked into yourself – I mean your real self not the personage you project. #Letr2Jil

23. That lashing out suggests an inner churning of anger, like some giant mixer inside a volcano. #Letr2Jil

24. Angry thoughts are like lava. They have a potent viscosity. When they boil over they incinerate relationships. #Letr2Jil

25. Poisonous plumes of anger and bitterness suffocate relationships. #Letr2Jil

26. And men can’t handle temperamental women. The male species has limited emotional capacity. #Letr2Jil

27. While you see yourself as entitled to lashing out in anger, he sees an angry uncontrollable woman. #Letr2Jil

28. When you say those hurtful things he gets very afraid, really afraid of the future. And words can wound. #Letr2Jil

29. He begins to ask himself if he wants to be locked up in a marriage apartment with this person. #Letr2Jil

30. He sees you as someone to whom no appeal can be made, someone who can’t abide sensible instruction. #Letr2Jil

31. He worries about that mean streak, that dark emotion you do so much to camouflage mechanically. #Letr2Jil

32. He’ll be afraid of offending you. Fears he’ll encounter a spirit of unforgiveness. #Letr2Jil

33. Lashing out at people cannot be a right. There’s no such license in a relationship. It’s emotional abuse. #Letr2Jil

34. In a relationship actions instigate reactions. Some reactions are silent contemplations, others determinations. #Letr2Jil

35. Why seek to punish a man who loves you! Think about it. What kind of testing is that? Of what?! #Letr2Jil

36. The idea behind it seems to be proof of love entails forbearance of acts of cruelty. What kind of philosophy is that? #Letr2Jil

37. What if the table were turned? What if HE seeks to prove your love by being cruel to you? #Letr2Jil

38. There’s something about porcelain. Once you break it, you can’t put it back. The heart is like that. #Letr2Jil

39. In a relationship, abuse makes the heart undergo material transition. #Letr2Jil

40. It starts as sinew but over successive abuses, it becomes porcelain material. It’s how hearts get broken. #Letr2Jil

41. If you shatter a man’s heart however he tries, even he can’t put it back together again. #Letr2Jil

42. There are things not worth attempting in a relationship. There are things you shouldn’t try. You can’t undo them. #Letr2Jil

43. If something is of value to you don’t treat it like trash! #Letr2Jil

44. And that’s the danger of getting away successively with bad behavior. It numbs sensitivity to other people’s feelings. #Letr2Jil

45. Long after you’ve lost control you won’t even be aware. Until a catastrophe happens. Then you realize too late. #Letr2Jil

46. Get rid of that victim mentality you have. You’ll continue to do harm to yourself. #Letr2Jil

47. A victim mentality makes you repudiate that which you desire. And without realising it. #Letr2Jil

48. You’ll be wondering why men break up with you successively, which in turn reinforces the victim mentality. #Letr2Jil

49. A victim mentality will prevent you from giving in a relationship. You will always expect to collect, like some debt. #Letr2Jil

50. At your age you’re old enough not to blame anyone for the consequences of the past. You have to move past the past. #Letr2Jil

51. Truth is, nobody will care about all those stories after a particular point. It’s your local event. #Letr2Jil

52. You have to move on – past the pain, past the anger. You have to seek happiness. #Letr2Jil

53. You have this one life. Are you going to waste it blaming others? #Letr2Jil

54. Life moves faster than we imagine. Before you know it you’re old! #Letr2Jil

55. You don’t want to wake up one day asking yourself where have all your years gone. #Letr2Jil

56. Seek happiness. But you’re not going to find it inside others. #Letr2Jil

57. Your locus of happiness cannot be external. Has to be internal. Lest other people determine the quality of your life. #Letr2Jil

58. If you get rid of these things – the moody anger festering inside like dark matter, you have a shot at happiness. #Letr2Jil

59. Sort your self out. Then the world around you will be sorted out. #Letr2Jil

60. Your mentor, LA #Letr2Jil © Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com

….that’s it…. #60TweetsIn60Minutes

Series: #JacknJil
Title: #Letr2Jil
Episode Title: #WatchThisBehaviour

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МММ Nigeria is gaining strength again. Members provide and get help. The volume of the provided and got help is growing. Now, we have to promote the testimonials confirming that MMM pays as actively as possible. For this purpose, we announce PromoTasks Contest. Promo tasks are useful both for members (as they allow to get new referrals) and the whole Community (as all together we distribute positive feedback about MMM).

The contest will last for 1 week: from the 24th of February to the 2nd of March inclusive (promo tasks completed after March 2 won’t be considered).

There are 2 nominations in the contest: online tasks and offline tasks. You can participate in one of nominations, or in both of them.

Online nomination prizes:

1st prize: 100 000 NGN.
2d prize: 70 000 NGN.
3rd prize: 50 000 NGN.
Offline nomination prizes:

1st prize: 150 000 NGN
2d prize: 100 000 NGN
3rd prize: 70 000 NGN.
To partake in the contest for the first nomination you have to complete at least 50 online tasks within the week. To participate in the second nomination you have to accomplish at least 5 offline tasks within the week. This week, all online tasks must be completed on Facebook, and 5 offline tasks must be completed in meetings category (it means this week, tasks of other categories won’t considered for the contest).

After the completion of the tasks, you MUST complete the following form till the 4th of March (otherwise, your results won’t be considered):


When completing the form, you have to paste the link of the report. If you participate in 2 nominations (online and offline) you have to past the links of 2 reports. If you claim victory in one of the nominations you should provide the report only for one nomination.

The participant who completes the tasks in the best way, creates positive awareness about MMM, recruits new members by fulfilling the tasks and takes into account all the criteria will become the winner.

Online nomination criteria to determine the winners:

Complete 50 online tasks within the week (from February 24 to March 2 inclusive)
50 tasks should be completed on Facebook (other tasks won’t be considered) and these tasks should be approved by a moderator (you will see it in the PromoTask section in your PO)
Complete the report properly (include all links reporting the tasks and complete personal data page).
Profiles in social networks you use for posts should be  filled in completely (have avatar, page header, personal photos, friends etc).
The messages you post in the social networks should contain unique text with attractive picture.
In case anybody leaves a comment to your message you have to get in touch with the author.
Offline nomination criteria:

Complete 5 offline tasks within the week (from February 24 to March 2 inclusive)
The tasks should refer to the “meetings” category (on the page of Promo tasks the category of task is always specified) and these tasks should be approved by a moderator (you will see it in the PromoTask section in your PO)
Complete the report properly (include all links reporting the tasks and complete personal data page)
Assure the maximum number of attendees at the offline event.
At least some of attendees should wear T-shirts with MMM logo.
Print and distribute materials about MMM
In case attendees put questions, answer them and register the interested guests. You can speak both in English and in any Nigerian language.
Necessarily record good quality video (can be recorded with smartphone, however in landscape orientation. The picture should be solid. Pay attention to the lighting).
Participate in the contest and promote the Community!

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1. What if…Imaginative adventures in faith. Chapter 5: What if…Joseph had slept with Mrs. Potiphar? #Illuminare

2. (This question was submitted by Ajulo Damilola.) #Illuminare

3. Mrs. Potiphar was a racist. And a sexual predator. Of course we all know the story of Joseph! #Illuminare

4. Poor Joseph was forcefully abducted from his home country. He ends up in the slave market in Egypt. #Illuminare

5. Joseph’s brothers sold him to the Ishmaelites, his second cousins. The Ishmaelites resold him in Egypt. #Illuminare

6. He wound up in the home of Captain Potiphar, head of the Ministry of Interior. Captain Poty took care of political prisoners. #Illuminare

7. Joseph was a product of good genes. His lineage featured extremely beautiful women, starting with his great grandma. #Illuminare

8. Sarah was a knockout, even in old age. There’s that story of Pharaoh wanting to marry her at 70! #Illuminare

9. Pharaoh was a powerful monarch who apparently collected beautiful women. He had lookout agents! #Illuminare

10. It would take God muscling in on Pharaoh to get Sarah released. She was already sequestered in his palace. #Illuminare

11. And that wasn’t the only time God had to intervene on behalf of Abraham. #Illuminare

12. Barely twenty years after, another king – King Abimelech of Gerar had similar ideas about Sarah. #Illuminare

13. “You’re a dead man,” God told Abimelech. (Gen. 20:3-4) And he quickly relinquished Sarah! God does “Mafia!” #Illuminare

14. Then there was Joseph’s grandma. Her name was Rebekah. She was beautiful. (Gen. 26:7) #Illuminare

15. Another Abimelech, son of the old king began nursing ideas about her. Before he could make his move fate intervened. #Illuminare

16. Isaac like his father had lied about his wife, Rebekah. Said she was his sister. She was not. She was his cousin. #Illuminare

17. Unfortunately Abimelech looked out of his window one day and saw Isaac fondling Rebekah. (Gen. 26:8-9) Game up! #Illuminare

18. Though one might ask what is it with the Abimelechs and the family of Abraham! #Illuminare

19. Then came Joseph’s mum. Her name was Rachel. She was gorgeous. #Illuminare

20. The Bible describes Rachel as “stunningly beautiful!” Had a “beautiful figure.” (Gen. 29:17 MSG, NLT) #Illuminare

21. Jacob probably paid the longest dowry in human history on account of Rachel –14years worth of labour. #Illuminare

22. Joseph took Rachel’s genes, though he might have been going to the gym as well. Bible says he was “well built.” #Illuminare

23. Joseph did have a hint of vanity about him. That was what got him into trouble with his brothers. (Gen. 37:3, 19-20) #Illuminare

24. It didn’t take long before the Mrs. Potiphar set eyes on Joseph. She was a cougar. The guy was relatively young. (Gen. 37:2) #Illuminare

25. Mrs. Potiphar didn’t employ subtlety. She was crude and direct: ‘“Have sex with me,” she DEMANDED!’ (Gen. 39:7) #Illuminare

26. And was she persistent! She kept pressuring the lad day after day, seeking to wear down his resistance. #Illuminare

27. On one of those days, and by some freakish coincidence none of the household servants was in the house. #Illuminare

28. Mrs. Potiphar made her move. She made a grab for Joseph. In trying to escape her claws he left his tunic behind. #Illuminare

29. Well, hell hath no fury like a scorned Mrs. Potiphar. She began to scream rape, attracting the attention of other servants. #Illuminare

30. It was while narrating her alleged ordeal to the servants that she used racial slur. #Illuminare

31. She told the servants, “My husband has brought THIS HEBREW slave here to make fools of us!” (Gen. 39:14) #Illuminare

32. Notice the sudden “us.” Egyptians despised shepherds. Hebrews were shepherds. (Gen. 46:34) #Illuminare

33. When she repeated the charge to her husband she used the same racial slur – #Illuminare

34. “THAT HEBREW SLAVE you’ve brought into our house tried to come in and fool with me… #Illuminare

35. …But when I screamed, he ran outside, leaving his cloak with me.” (Gen. 39:17) #Illuminare

36. Captain Poty was livid. He threw Joseph in prison. And so did Mrs. Poty come to unleash another trauma into Joseph’s life. #Illuminare

37. This was his 3rd major trauma– the 1st his mum’s death, the 2nd was being sold into slavery, and now Mrs. Potiphar. #Illuminare

38. But why didn’t Joseph sleep with Mrs. Potiphar? Somehow, sex with her was a difficult moral proposition for him. #Illuminare

39. How do you sleep with your benefactor’s wife? Potiphar had been good to him, trusted him. And he said as much. #Illuminare

40. The only thing off limit was Mrs. Potiphar. So how could he? Why Potiphar grew mad and threw him in prison. #Illuminare

41. It was in Potiphar’s detention that Joseph met those two government officials and interpreted their dreams. #Illuminare

42. One official was assassinated as Joseph predicted, the other freed as he also predicted. #Illuminare

43. It was through the freed gentleman Joseph finally got his recommendation to Pharaoh. The rest is history. #Illuminare

44. Joseph would go on to become Pharaoh’s 2nd in command. We assume Mr. and Mrs. Potiphar went into exile the next day! #Illuminare

45. But what if Joseph had slept with Mrs. Potiphar? What then? #Illuminare

46. Mrs. Potiphar would devour him like the black widow spider. That spider cannibalizes her mate. #Illuminare

47. The character profile of Mrs. Potiphar is that of a lying, cheating, manipulative, inventive, racist and vindictive woman. #Illuminare

48. Mrs. Poty is not someone you want to get into relationship with, any relationship. #Illuminare

49. Joseph would have to do her every whim and bidding to hang on to his life. He’d be nothing but a toy boy. #Illuminare

50. His personal vision would be terminated. Those dreams gone! Then there’s the blackmail factor. #Illuminare

51. Don’t forget Mrs. Potiphar was good at manufacturing evidence. The sword of death would dangle over his head forever. #Illuminare

52. And there’s of course the risk of exposure of the affair. A very dangerous affair that would have been. #Illuminare

53. A slave who cuckolds his master has his life sentence pronounced in advance. #Illuminare

54. If knowledge of the affair ever got out neither Joseph nor Mrs. Potiphar would live to tell the story. #Illuminare

55. In truth Mrs. Potiphar was nothing but a distraction to Joseph. She was a derailer of destiny. #Illuminare

56. The simple lesson from all this is that it’s good to have a moral core. Joseph had integrity. #Illuminare

57. Sometimes integrity leads us through adverse circumstances to take us to the top. #Illuminare

58. Joseph did end up marrying into nobility. The employment package from Pharaoh included a wife. #Illuminare

59. Incidentally Joseph’s wife was the daughter of another Potiphar with a name variant called Potipherah. (Gen. 41:45) #Illuminare

60. In other words, Joseph gave up Mrs. Potiphar only to get a Miss Potiphar. #Illuminare

61. The wrong Potiphar came first. And that’s the way it often is in life. The decoy manifests first. #Illuminare

62. If Joseph had slept with Mrs. Potiphar his future would have been consumed. He wouldn’t get to Pharaoh’s palace. #Illuminare

63. And he would have missed his purpose in life. His purpose was to preserve the nascent nation of Israel. #Illuminare

64. The famine would have wiped out his family – his father, brothers, their wives and children… The whole lot! #Illuminare

65. He told his brothers “God sent me here ahead of you to preserve your lives.” (Genesis 45:7) #Illuminare

66. Without Joseph there would be no nation of Israel today. That’s the opportunity cost of sleeping with Mrs. Potiphar #Illuminare

67. He would have gone on a destiny tangent–just a handsome gigolo servicing a devious woman. Until the next handsome guy comes. #Illuminare

68. Crass short-term opportunism derails destiny. #Illuminare

69. Even in our difficulties we must search for purpose. There’s something called the end game. (Jer. 29:11) Keep faith! #Illuminare

70. If you’ll like to receive Jesus into your life please pray this prayer: #Illuminare

71. Father I acknowledge that I am a sinner, that Jesus Christ died for me, that you raised him from the dead. #Illuminare

72. Please forgive me Father. I accept Jesus today as my Lord and my Saviour. Amen. #Illuminare

73. To read the full version of Chapter 5: What if Joseph had slept with Mrs. Potiphar? please go to https://t.co/7k5lBilfNM #Illuminare

74. You may send topics on What If…series you want clarification on. Mail talk2me@lekealder.com. #Illuminare

75. #Illuminare © Leke Alder | talk2me@lekealder.com

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